We arrived at Santa Barbara airport to see Barbara. On the first tape that I received from her she said, “I don’t know why I am sending this tape to you because I don’t like women, all they talk about is their illnesses or their grandchildren and I don’t want to listen to either, however you do sound different, but I still prefer men!!” I managed to find subjects to interest her and we corresponded for a long time.

When I mentioned that my husband and I were coming to U.S. she begged me to call and see her. Early in our tape friendship I said, “Barbara I think you might be a sick lady and if you would like to talk about it that would be fine, but if you don’t that will be fine too and I shall never mention it again.” Barbara never mentioned it and I never mentioned it again.

She had omitted to give me a phone number and so whilst we were at the airport I tried to get it, but the operator said she was not allowed to give it to me, so I asked a taxi to take us to the address given. He said he didn’t know where it was but we could call at a gas station and they would have more detailed maps.

The gas station attendant didn’t know where it was, but we got a little help from a map. We drove around for ages and we were concerned because in 1969 we could only take a set amount of money out of N.Z. Eventually my husband thought we should abandon our plan as the cost was so high and rising every minute, on the meter.

I was still convinced that Barbara was sick and I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I told my husband, “Oh we really must make this call, but don’t worry I will make the money balance later somehow.”

Eventually we arrived and our luggage was piled on the porch and I rang the door bell. A woman answered and I asked to see Barbara.

A very sick lady in a wheelchair came to the door. She was the thinnest person I had ever seen and her one leg was just bone and I could have run my hand along it with my fingers touching around her leg. She looked so ill. Having looked us over, we were invited in. Her husband, she told us was extremely unsociable as his work kept him apart from people. We afterwards learned that he was a leading scientist and was working in sealed off conditions experimenting with mustard gas, etc. for warfare.

We sat and talked. She was most interested in our holiday plans and asked me to please write to her while we were travelling and tell her about all the details of our trip. Our plan was to be travelling for about 2 years and she wanted to be sure I would keep in touch.

Her manner was blunt and even rude at times but I was used to her and always gave as good as I got speechwise and that worked well and we had a lot of fun and laughter, which she obviously needed.

Her husband came in and he seemed to really like my husband and Barbara said it was most unusual for him to stay and talk.

Then I noticed the housekeeper standing in the doorway so I said, “Barbara I think your housekeeper wants a word with you.” “Oh I know what she wants,” said Barbara without looking up. “I told her before you came not to mention dinner until I told her to, because I wasn’t sure I would want you to stay. But please you will stay won’t you? I really want you to stay!”

Just prior to all this I had asked how we could connect with transport that would take us to our hotel, as they only hold the room until 6 p.m. Barbara explained we must take a taxi to ….. corner which was very isolated and wait for the bus. She added there is a bus shelter there, but try to hide your bags and not look like tourists, because gangs have been known to attack people waiting there. So I thanked her for the invitation but said I would be happier if we could be on the bus before dark.

Her face fell and she said, “I thought you were one person who would understand. I’m a shut-in and my visitors and nurses bring the world news to me – I never have any experience or news to tell them. All that you have told me I shall give out little by little to make it last as long as possible because for once I know something they don’t know. I do wish you would stay for dinner and talk more! Please!”

Well, what could I say? So we accepted. The corner was as eerie as she had described with a cemetery on one corner and a warehouse etc. on another, all dark and spooky, but we got the bus okay. During our travels I sent many picture cards and letters to Barbara and knew how welcome they would be. She wasn’t able to reply whilst we were travelling as I couldn’t give her an address.

I received a few tapes on my return home – then – nothing. She was a fighter to have lasted so long. She told us that when she knew she would be in her wheelchair forever, she decided to go to England for a last trip. Her husband was unable to go so she went alone. She gave us the name and address of a lady in England that she had stayed with and asked us to call on her. We did and this lady commented what “guts Barbara had, she couldn’t even toilet herself, she trusted that someone would help her on the planes, etc.” A wonderful person. An example to us all to never give up and to be totally positive. I was privileged to have known her.